


~ To be Alive ~

by anastacianott



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Imprisonment, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki was not a bad guy, Mute Loki (Marvel), Not Asgard-friendly, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), The Avengers Are Good Bros, Thor is a not good Bro, Thor: The Dark World, Warriors Three - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastacianott/pseuds/anastacianott
Summary: After locking Loki up, everyone just forgets about him. Who cares that perhaps he is not as guilty as Thor claims? What if he is not guilty at all? And what if Loki desperately waits for his family to listen to what he has to say? Only that no one comes. Not after a week, not even after a year. For how long can a person endure unscathed?And then the Avengers want to talk. Thor TDW AU, post-Age of Ultron.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Loki, Loki & Avengers Team, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark
Comments: 142
Kudos: 708





	1. Chapter 1

~o~0~o~

1

A/N: Hello there. Another Loki story, who is surprised? Just want to warn you in advance, I have some problems with my muse, so this story will be updated veeery slowly. 

And I know – honestly – I need to update my other stories, but it’s just so hard. Sorry for that.

For now, please enjoy!

~o~0~o~

Slowly looking around his new accommodation, Loki quietly breathed. One would think that a man can go mad, having so little control of his life, but not Loki. Not after lasting for so long without breaking up inside. He has gone through too much to give up now.

Because after all, wasn’t it what he wanted?

You would ask what he wanted?

After the void, after that black rock, after an endless nightmare and quiet hidden despair?

He wanted to _come home_.

Sitting on a simple bed, void of any comforts – just a mattress and flat pillow, the once Prince of Asgard shook his head and closed his eyes.

_Not like that._

Because after all, Odin just locked him up.

No investigation, no questions, no trial, nothing at all.

Odin just locked him up.

Oh, and just how pretentious it sounded from the old man - _You will spend the rest of your days in the dungeons._

While Loki was angry, oh was he angry, resentment was worse.

They didn’t even ask! They – Thor, Odin, the council – they _always_ knew better. How much grief Loki would have been spared, if they only listened to his reasons.

However, what did he expect? Odin said _No_ to him after all. Perhaps…

Perhaps Loki was just in denial?

No. No. He didn’t endure so much to convey important news of the threat to not be listened to at all. He wouldn’t believe it, because just how cruel fate can be?

Did he not suffer enough?

Besides, no trace of the Other was left now, Loki was free to talk about the Titan loud and clear (not quivering as the sharp sting of pain punished him if he dared). He was free.

Wasn’t he?

No matter. He will wait. He has waited this long. He will wait for a bit longer.

_Just as he waited for anyone to find him, save him, to come after him-_

No!

They cannot just erase him from Asgard. It didn’t work like that! After all, someone would remember him and come. And then he will speak what danger was coming.

He may be selfish, but he lived in the universe just like anyone else.

He couldn’t let Thanos destroy the world.

Not while there was Loki, who can trick the mad man, so the victory would fall through those ugly purple fingers.

~o~0~o~

When nobody came to him after the first few weeks, Loki found himself become frustrated. Any stirring of fear he blocked with fury.

There was no reason to be afraid.

Yet.

Yes, Odin said hurtful things ( _Your birthright…)._ Yes, he dismissed him. But... surely, after some time he will want to know where his so-called son was all this time? Right? Odin knew nothing of where he was (at least Loki prayed it was so, the alternative was unthinkable). He should at least care about this?

It couldn't have been all lies. Maw and the Other worked hard on making him believe otherwise. And if in something they succeeded ( _You deserve to rule them_ ), in other things they didn’t ( _They are glad you are gone)_.

Because no matter how small, his hope was struggling to live in that scary dark place.

Sometimes as Loki tried to keep fit and stretching in the tiny cell, the trickster himself was surprised that he managed to get out of the nightmare in which he fell - he got off easily if he could say so.

Yes, they have tried to mutilate him, but his only friend – his seidr - robbed them of the pleasure of seeing him ruined.

Nebula was not so lucky.

And even if the mortals and especially that green ogre were able to injure him, it didn’t even come close to what he has already gone through.

Really, the only lasting damage were his frequent headaches. The Other didn’t care one bit when he struck his fingers inside his mind and _teared_. His back hurt sometimes too, but why wouldn’t it after being broken? Obsidian was thorough.

Loki believed Eir as a professional healer would help him with this. But no one – _I’m looking at you Allfather!_ \- has bothered to send a healer to him yet. Insulting but also outrageous. Any convict has a right to it, so what the hell was going on?

_It was one thing to ignore him as a lesser son, dismiss him as a younger prince. But he was a citizen of Asgard and had rights like any other. Was him finding out he was Jotun somehow revoked his rights? What nonsense was it?!_

And sadly, Eir probably won't help him with his nightmares either.

Being in this cursed cell for ten days already, for nine nights Loki woke up terrified.

But it was fine. It was going to be alright soon.

Furthermore, if Odin brought his crimes before the council ( _He did, right? He couldn’t just go and hush it up. Right? He wasn’t a complete despot after all!_ ), they would have questions. And maybe at first Loki would tear them a new one for letting Odin keep him in the dungeons with other criminals as if he was not a _Prince_ , but also for letting the king sentence him without witnesses, behind closed doors. And jailed for the rest of his days? Please.

Some others were proclaimed heroes in Asgard for less.

It was not that Loki didn’t realize he started a battle where other people died. It was just he didn’t have much choice. It was either some hundred deaths or deaths worth half a planet.

How can there even be a choice made?

Remembering how it all started, Loki shuddered. Oh, how the Silvertongue sang when Thanos declared Midgard to be destroyed. Just how convincingly Loki tried to prove that destroying the planet was not at all worth it.

_Perhaps Midgard should be able to become the middle base for the transition to all the other Eight worlds, hm? Maybe Midgard keeps something worthy besides the Tesseract? Should be investigated. Loki didn’t mind. Well, and as a small bonus, Loki will be able to prove that he is able to lead an army and win. What have you got to lose, master?_

Loki lied through his teeth - because how could he allow this monster to destroy the whole realm? Loki was and is the Prince of Asgard. He too made promises to protect Nine Realms and took vows.

_How bitter Loki was, remembering Thor taking the vows as he was in the process of becoming king. How the golden boy laughed, how flippant and unconcerned he was, saying ‘I do’, not even listening to what was asked of him. How young and stupid he was! Was that that he knew what it was like to keep those promises! Loki would gladly share the experience._

And even if everything around him turned out to be a lie, even if those whom he trusted turned out to be scoundrels and traitors, his duty remained.

Because the only thing Loki prided himself with, they couldn’t break. His loyalty.

Not for Odin any longer, not for Thor after his systematic betrayal of trust. (How many times Thor stood up for any of his friends? How he proclaimed them proud, strong and honored warriors. And just how many times the same courtesy was bestowed on Loki? No, Thor only ever joined in Loki’s degrading and humiliation).

Not even for his mother, who saw what Loki was going through due to Odin’s actions, Thor’s, how his reputation one day was all but gone and no one from his oh so loving family saw fit to support him. Constant slights, accusations, demeaning of his skills. One word from Odin and everyone would have shut their mouths. But no. Loki was only the afterthought. And Frigga saw nothing wrong either when Odin sang praises for any beast Thor killed, but suddenly became deaf when Loki got publicly humiliated, his accomplishments all but forgotten.

Frigga always stood up for Odin’s decisions, proclaiming them wise and just. She always said Odin knew what he was doing. And if Loki suffered from his false father's dubious justice, then it was Loki who was in the wrong. And all her younger son would get from her, were empty platitudes. Frigga never stood up in Odin’s way of ‘teaching’ his children lessons. Loki understood that long ago.

No, Loki didn’t burn with loyalty for his family. His loyalty was for Asgard.

For the land, for the rivers, for the mountains. For animals and birds. For the people, who lived and died, for the children, who cared not of being the warriors and for those who dreamed only about it, for husbands who loved their wives, for elders who watched their grandkids grow up. For the honest people and for scammers, seidrmann and tricksters. For Loki’s enemies and for his followers.

Because what Loki saw Thanos did, just imagining their terror, was painful. Loki thought he would protect them at any cost.

And if to protect Asgard, he needed to save Midgard, then so be it.

And only when Thanos wanted to make sure that everything goes smoothly and Loki does not fail, then Loki realized that being noble and trying to protect others has often too high a price.

The procedures to which he was subjected to the scepter almost deprived him of any hope that his consciousness would be preserved and not drown under the blue tsunami. When the pain became unbearable, Loki cursed those very mortals, because if only they knew what their salvation cost the god.

If only they knew.

But alas, instead of a thank you, his name will be forever stained. On Midgard Loki of Asgard will be remembered as a warmonger, crazy mad man, a criminal.

_Loki hoped he would be able to meet them as himself, free of chains, be those physical or mental._

He hoped someday they will know that he was not a complete monster and that what he did was not something he wished, but what needed to be done, to save many at the cost of a few.

Loki only wished they would understand.

~o~0~o~

A month passed.

Then two.

Then three.

~o~0~o~

Loki was beyond caring that he looked upset and agitated, pacing his new _home_ , to the amusement of his neighbors.

The silence and most of all _solitude_ took a toll on his mental health.

No one visited him. No one talked to him. There was nothing for him to do.

When silence was becoming too much, Loki recited his future speech, murmuring quietly so as to hear his own voice at least. He bit his nails bloody, trying to make it perfect. And when he did, he kept retelling it so it will be engraved in his memory.

When the white walls hurt his eyes, the god would lay on his cot and imagine that he lies on the sand before the great ocean in Vanaheim. The water would be calm and soothing. The birds would be singing. His hands would bury themselves in the soft grit. His lungs would breathe the cleanest air. There will be so much light – not the darkness and the horrid stench of his room on Sanctuary; not the emptiness and stagnant air of his white cage. Just blue sky and soft sunshine.

Loki tried to construct other places, but something would always be amiss in some detail. As if his memory was failing him.

Trying to remember his guest chamber in the palace, Loki would feel knocked down because he wouldn’t be sure what color was his couch. Illusion broken.

Memories of traveling with his brother and his friends in Asgard’s forests would start alright. Not even their jokes would hurt him much. But when Loki would look up at the night sky, the stars there would flick and disappear completely. And when he would look again, the stars would be replaced to those he memorized while on Sanctuary, enveloped in the empty cold void. Illusion broken.

As a young man he visited a beautiful town in Alfheim, where the local governor bade him sincere welcome. The young Prince had impressed King Freyr on one visit, being very knowledgeable in seidr, so he recommended going to a small town to study air magic. It was one of Loki’s happiest memories. The people were so inviting, far cry from how his magic was perceived in Asgard.

So Loki tried to reconstruct the feasting hall where he spent his evenings making new friends with local mages. But even here his memory failed, and the Other would come through the doors of the hall and… Illusion broken.

Loki even imagined himself and Thor at the roof of that Tower in New York City, when they were fighting. The god would let it play as if when Thor asked him to stop, Loki did. He did stop and threw away his scepter and grabbed his brother’s vambraces. Loki would tell him that he didn’t want all this to happen, that he will tell him everything. Then they will hug. And Thor will smile and touch his neck and…

And then he will squeeze it and scream at his face that Loki betrayed everyone and he deserves to die. And then Thor will push him and Loki will fall and fall and… Illusion broken.

And many other scenes that never quite worked. Only the ocean was safe. Perhaps because there was nothing special there (and no one). Just the water and sky. But even so little would bring Loki momentary respite and calm sleep.

Then he would wake up and the days would resume.

Full of nothing.

~o~0~o~

Norns, he was on Sanctuary longer than he was here. Then why did despair ate at him thrice stronger than in that hell?

Was it perhaps he was home now and instead of protection and gladness and peace all he got was hurt? Truly he never dreamed he would be welcomed with open arms after what he did. But he hoped that at least his mother would be glad to see him. Perhaps Odin would… would show (if not outright say aloud) how sorry he was since the last time they saw each other? Perhaps his few good acquaintances would ask after his well-being?

Instead, Loki felt even worse than in Sanctuary. The absence of physical pain was a bonus of course. But in everything else… It was worse.

It meant the Children were right. He was an unloved abandoned creature, worth nothing to anyone.

Hearing this in itself can drive you into black melancholy.

But how is he to feel after realizing they were right?

~o~0~o~

_Gods, how he wished he could hold someone’s hand._

He was starting to forget how it felt like for someone to touch him (while not hurting him), stroke his hair (not harshly pulling it), to shake his hand (while not handcuffing him).

No matter how sick it was, the Black Order did not deprive him of physical touch. Maw would disgustingly pat his cheek, Gamora would kick him while he was down, Proxima always liked to hold him still, and squeezing his arm until it was numb when they visited Thanos.

_If only someone would come._

After some time holding his right hand in left became a self-comforting habit.

~o~0~o~

Twice in as many months, Loki’s anger got the better of him and he destroyed everything in his cell. His bed, washbasin. Himself. It hurt as he hit the barrier with his bare hands, oh it hurt.

Afterward, Loki would slowly meticulously repair everything. The objects were easy. His flesh not so much.

_At least he could still feel pain._

~o~0~o~

Sometimes Loki would hurt physically for no obvious reason. His chest would become tight, his hands would shake and no amount of self-comforting would ease the pain.

Mostly it was when he was thinking that not even _mother_ visited, while Loki was sure that at least _she_ would want to see him. If only once, to let him know someone thought of him.

_Oh. Well, nice work, Loki. You are doing it again. Calm. Down!_

Did something happen? Where was Thor? Maybe he left Asgard? Was mother alright? ~~_Mother!_ _Where are you?!_~~

At his worst, Loki would cry himself hoarse in the safety of his illusion.

_Was Odin serious? Did he really lock him up... for life?_

But... he wasn't... he... he failed, yes. But... he didn't want to do all that he did. He can explain!

Loki was always loyal to Asgard. Even by inviting Jotuns in the palace, his aim was Asgard’s safety. So how could Odin think that what Loki did was in any way in character?

Did he know him at all?

_Did anyone?_

When the fifth month started, Loki no longer could calm his anxiety. Loneliness ate at his soul.

He thought when he would come to Asgard (come home), he would be able to heal.

Now he was just falling apart.

One day he couldn’t wait any longer, his pride be damned.

"Guard! Tell Allfather that I wish to speak to him. Please."

Loki waited. But a day passed. Then three. Then a week. The guard didn't meet his eyes when Loki asked if the message was sent. The guard said it was.

Funny. Those who Loki prayed for would help him, save him, rescue him - betrayed him. At least with Thanos Loki had visitors. Even Thanos visited all his prisoners.

Odin, Frigga, Thor did not.

Loki should have died in the void. At least when he was falling, he was in black despair, but he at least knew Frigga loved him and Thor cared for him.

Now even this belief broke into million shards.

The guards now were always just beyond his line of vision.

~o~0~o~

He started to forget his noble speech. No one cared, why should he?

Moreover, when he tried to read aloud one of his books, hidden in dimension pocket (he only had three, all read numerous times over), he would find out that his speech was no longer smooth and coherent. Being silent for so long robbed him of his silver tongue. Loki had to accept it and he did anything else. What did it matter? There was no one to listen to him talk.

He lost almost all his muscles, preferring sleep to reality. At least when he was sleeping, he could convince himself that he was free.

Besides, the food started to taste like ash long ago to not care for it anymore. Loki contemplated to stop eating altogether (maybe then they would ~~come~~ _notice_!), but soon realized that he would just hurt himself for nothing. Because no one would come to tell him to eat. No one would give a damn if he wasted away here. At least he got decent food – in Sanctuary you eat what you are given. And what you are given is muck. And Loki needed to feed his only friend, he wouldn’t let his magic suffer. Loki did eat muck and smudge while on Sanctuary because he knew he couldn’t let himself surrender. Now... he didn’t know.

After having thought of any way he could have won (lost) the battle, what he could have done, not done, any words he would have said or stayed silent, Loki found out that he could make his mind go absolutely blank. No thought, no picture, no noise. Just blackness. Loki spent much time in this state – his little sanctum of peace - when the boredom threatened to make him howl in despair. It was one of his best tricks so far.

It was sad, how his sanctum reminded him of Thanos’ Sanctuary. But what can you do?

He was running away from reality again, but oh well. Guess he would run. Perhaps one day he will dive into his sanctum and stay there forever. And after thousands of years, perhaps come Ragnarok, someone will find him frozen in this state. Long dead? Why not. It was nice to think about it.

~o~0~o~

_Wait, where was he? Ah, yes. The end of chapter 3182. He hoped his imagination would keep on creating the continuation of his book._ It was glorious if Loki could say so. Much more exciting and engrossing than any book Snorri had ever written. _Take that, old snob._

~o~0~o~

His neck was hurting awfully. No, no, no, he shouldn’t have sat for a week motionless. It was a bad idea. _But now I at least know how many small cells make up my golden wall._

~o~0~o~

_Oh Norns, I did it! Mind still sharp, good job Loki! Good job!_

Yes, creating a second apple from air to duplicate the original one kept him smiling for days. He always struggled with this spell, always needed to have the object taken from somewhere else. But seeing as he couldn’t reach outside his cell, this was a real success to him. And the apple so delicious.

Now he had all the time in the world to hone his skills.

_And the first thing I’ll do is create a second pillow. And the second mattress. Sweet Norns, my back is killing me._

~o~0~o~

Loki had enough time to contemplate his feelings. About his life, his defeat on Midgard (win?), his experience at the hands of a maniac, about the place he grew up on. About the family he no longer had.

Nothing of those things mattered to him anymore. And to accept it was freeing.

~o~0~o~

Two years passed until Loki got his first visit.


	2. Chapter 2

~o~0~o~

2

Thor Odinsson came.

When Loki has first realized that there was indeed someone standing before him, it was as if something blew up inside his mind, hardly believable. There was nothing before his cell, no one, ever. Just a wall to look at, all others just beyond his reach – visually or verbally. And now - the explosion of colors, of sounds. It was really _a person_ there, not his imagination. It was bizarre. It was Thor.

The same tall, broad man. Strong muscles hidden under shining armor. The famous hammer hanging on the belt. The cape the same deep red color. Royal color. The handsome face, blonde hair tied back in a braid, blue eyes unsympathetic and cold.

So starkly familiar. Yet, a stranger.

Loki didn’t want to imagine what this visitor would think of seeing _him_.

He must be such a sight.

Based on experience, the god knew how the skin looked ashen deprived of sunlight. His hair was untamed, curling, what would you do – _no hairbrushes for the dangerous criminals, no no no_. Illusion Loki had perfect hair. Reality Loki let his hair go wild.

Because what was the point of keeping the illusion if no one ever came? Pointless waste of precious _precious_ magic. Besides, what did he care about how he looked? Who was there left to impress but himself? Who was there? Only Loki. And he was content. 

His shirt was at least clean and well preserved. You bet, Loki created three shirts from his original one thanks to his spell (he tried to keep making more, but he noticed he tired so damn quickly lately, no fun). Therefore, the clothes were not a problem. Another case a person behind them. His eyes must be so red _(Jotun red?)_ after the endless sleepless nights.

The Prince stood proud, Loki would even say self-important. Loki himself was sitting on the floor, squat cross-legged, hands humble in his lap.

How weak he must look, how frail. Pathetic really.

_But let’s get back to the main intrigue of the day! His Royal Highness Prince Thor granted me a visit! What a plot twist._

Prince Thor of Asgard. Odinsson. So many memories assaulted all at once. The chief ones - he was the one who fought against him, quickly allied himself with new no-names to bring Loki down, after what Odinsson cuffed him and muzzled him, seeing nothing wrong with the situation at whole. Who put him here in this unkind place and walked away.

So, a memory. A ghost of his previous life. A stranger.

Who… was ruining his routine?

_What an extraordinary day. Whatever did Odinsson, the second most important god in Asgard, need here? Stands there so…_ _arrogant. Looks at me. What are you looking at? What do you see, I wonder. Keep going. I have no time for anything you might say. Hold on. Perhaps he is not here for me at all, just walking by? Possible, quite possible. But wait, the wing my cell stands is at the very end, there is nowhere else to go further, but to go back. Wait. Do I care? What was on the list today again-?_

"Loki.”

_By the Norns, he’s talking to me. And I thought- Hey, hey, time to concentrate. Wouldn’t hurt, eh?_

“- you are to be sent to mortals.” _Unbelievable. Just… wow. What a start of the conversation! I should give it to the prince – to be so blunt and indifferent. Any writer would most likely hang themselves, than start a dialogue so sudden, without any preamble. After all, perhaps he is in a hurry?_

_(In a hurry to find more people to charm, more friends to make, more hearts to win)._

“As you've wronged them, they have a right to have their own justice. They are going to keep you in their facility and you are going to answer their questions-“ _Ok ok focus! He keeps talking, and I cannot understand all at once! By the ugly face of Maw, my head hurts from all these sounds. Okay, what else mortals will do?_ “If you do anything to misbehave, I will kill you.” _Promise? I so wish everyone would keep their promises._ “The brother I knew is gone. What's left is nothing I wish to know. Betray me… and I will kill you.” _Whose brother? Who is he talking about?_ “Once they are done with you, you will be brought back to this cell. Understood?"

_Oh, dear. So to summarize. Some new torments? By mortals?_

_Why not. He doesn't mind taking a little break for new experiences. (Midgard’s torture technics he is yet to experience). His home will wait for him._

_The man is looking at me strangely. What is he waiting for?_

_Ah. Yes. Loki should speak aloud. People did that to hear each other. But his mouth strained to speak the words. It did for some time now. When did it- No matter._

_His words are lost. All of them had filled every millimeter of this cell, over and over and over again, until nothing was left._

_Is a nod alright? Seems like it._

~o~0~o~

_Not going straight to Bifrost? Why- Ah. Barefoot and coatless are not respectful, no need to stain Aesir's eyes with such indignity. All the better, because- Hey, no need to throw it. Here it is._

_His clothes. His armor. He really missed it. His leather, his golden pieces. Fenrir, hello. His breastplate. Hmm, sits too loose. Jormungandr, missed you. No helmet. Shame._

Once in those clothes, Loki felt alive and ready to face anything. And if now the first part was so-so, the second was true. Some new agonies? Lead on!

( _Just not to Thanos, please, not him, mortals are fine, just do not lead me to him, surely I am guilty in your eyes, but do I really deserve-)_

After all, there will be natural light, new smells, new faces. ( _Old faces, old feelings, but they didn’t matter, they didn’t, why should they?_ ). His armor. He just… he loved it.

Nothing to do with his hair though. It has grown down to his shoulders now. No longer smooth and shining, but more or less well-groomed. It was not good to bring yourself down. _Always look presentable, Loki._ Who told him that? One of his teachers? The Allmother? He couldn’t remember now. Well, he stopped caring for appearances on his seventh month in his cell, but now some mortals are going to see him ( _judge him, hurt him, poison him, laugh at him_ ), so he will show them his best.

When Thor waited for him to leave the cell, once he stepped out, Thor wasted no time on handcuffing him, a hand on his arm pushing him forward, and when he went ahead, turned him around and grabbed his neck. Not lightly, but strong and _punishing_.

“If you try to run-“

Loki would blink and then admonish himself inside his head.

_Stop, Loki. Keep an iron grip on your tears. Don't let them see it. You wished for touch. What does it matter that it is hurting, squeezing, pulling, pushing? Don't be sad. Don't be. It's nothing. You are going to see the sky, can you imagine? To breathe clean air! Rejoice. I bet Maw would say it to you too. Maw is not hurting you, not anymore, it is fine._

It was fine.

_Odinsson is saying something else. When will he stop? We need to go. Or is he waiting for me to answer? Sorry, Odinsson I wasn't listening. Let us_ go _._

_Great, we are walking again._

Oh, the familiar places. Strange, he still remembered every crevice, every turn, after all these years being away. Even the faces of Einherjar were familiar. If he tried, he could even remember their names-

_Hey! Why push? So rude. Is that the behavior of the Prince? I am not one, but even I know how to treat even the lowest of prisoners. Like me. Those guards may be more kind than the Prince is. And they have never claimed to be- No, enough._

Long corridors, open windows, so many colors. Gold (always gold), gray. Green! Red, violet, yellow, black. No white, punishing white. Just a bit. Pink. Blue. Not Jotun blue. More azure.

_Interesting, are there lighter Jotuns? Darker? Maybe some other colors, other than blue?_

Ah, the sounds. The birds, singing their beautiful songs. The wind, greeting Loki like an old friend. The talking, so far away, but easily heard. Not near, because Thor Odinsson became quiet, not even looking his way. _Have nothing to say? Is it because I didn’t answer? Or because I am something he is in a hurry to get reed of?_ It was fine.

_What was that?_ Something about a new boy working at the market for free? To help mother, of course. _A good son._ Is a young girl laughing at her friend’s joke? _Hah, hilarious, indeed._ A man admonishing his son to not fool around and be more serious? _Why? It was funny what he did!_ Loki knew the boy would go make mischief anyway. _Nice lad, keep it up._

Life everywhere. And now Loki was once again a tiny part of it.

When he stumbled the first time, Odinsson didn’t notice. For the best, of course.

_My feet hurt. Am I going to fall from exhaustion? Would Odinsson drag me? He seems to think that it is very important that his mortal friends have their enemy’s pound of flesh._

_Oh dear, he could drag me all he wants, what does it matter? I am going to see the sky! The real one, not artificial, not an illusion. I missed it. Not sure how long I went without it._

_No more taking anything for granted._

They have finally gone up from the dungeons. _The stairs are difficult_. Another turn to the left and there was an exit from the left-wing of the palace to the main corridor leading to the streets.

Loki looked down at his hands that were fidgeting. Seeking for… For the weapon? For freedom? For his other hand? _I could just barely touch my other hand now, damn._ Mjolnir winked at him, having caught the patch of reflected light. _No need to be cruel, stupid hammer._

Yes, the sky. Just a little longer to the right and...

_What is this horrible noise? Ah. The others are coming along. Four of them. Oh yes, Odinsson’s friends. Is that surprise on your faces? It’s gone now. Sif is sneering. Oh, do I disgust you? How novel. The trio of the prince’s personal warriors and guards. What a life, going along with whatever Odinsson concocts, and don’t forget to smile. Fandral is serious for a change. Do I remember it right- Ah. Stands further away. Don’t worry, I have no wish to impose. Hogun, do you think me at your mercy is not enough so that you still need to grab your weapon? And Volstagg, good for nothing but his sword and food. Thor will tell you what to do, don’t worry. Thor is there for you to decide how to treat me._

_The very thought that I strived so hard to become one of them. So they will have me as I am. So much effort wasted. I am not like them and never will be._

_And that? Not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all._

Finally.

_Eyes high up the sky. The sky. Beautiful. The sun is so soft today. The air is so clear, so clear. Funny, my reaction is the same after going out on a sunny day after coming away from Sanctuary. I remember feeling elation and freedom. But of course, it was a lie. Freedom is a lie. And the sun was good after so much darkness. But the air was foul, very contaminated. But you get what you get._

_Oh, what is that? Is that... the king and queen of Asgard on a balcony? I wonder if they would come to bid Odinsson farewell. Perhaps hug him goodbye._

_Yes. The queen is coming. The king left inside the palace._ (No. _) Nothing had changed since I last saw her. The Queen of Asgard. Allmother. Everyone loves her for her beauty, kindness, compassion. And she is a mother of all. (Just not mine). She greets the warriors and goes to her son. Oh. She strokes his cheek. Must be nice._

_Bifrost is still broken. Why? Don’t they know how to fix it? Even Loki knows and he is nothing. Perhaps they are waiting for some politically important date-_

_What? The queen is looking at me. What are_ you _trying to see, I wonder. She is calling my name. Wants to see my eyes. Well, I don’t want to. I better look at the trees hundreds of miles away on the north._

He remembers he was running there as a boy. Then once the grown-ups warned everyone that there was a wild wolf, killing the game. The grown-ups knew nothing. Loki found that wolf. He didn’t tell Thor and went alone. Fenrir as Loki called him, was a wonderful creature. _Maybe he is still there, who knows._ Loki liked him.

“Loki!”

_What? Why are they looking at me? Why is the woman crying? Did something happen, while I was distracted? The Queen has better things to get her attention at, than a criminal Jotun. Otherwise, she’d have come to visit-_

_Hey. Enough. She is not worth thinking about._

“Didn’t know you will stoop so low as to hurt mother.” Odinsson gritted through clenched teeth, as the queen tried to compose herself.

_What did he do now? Why do they even notice my presence? Shouldn’t they_ go _? And the queen has said goodbye to her son – so what is he guilty of? Madness all around._

“The Liesmith thinks it funny. Let’s go, my friend. Mortals will take this one from our hands soon enough.” Volstagg muttered.

_The fatty is right, Odinsson. We are wasting time._

“Goodbye, mother. All will be well.”

“Goodbye, son. Loki? I…” Frigga watched, as Loki didn’t even notice her call him, preferring to catch sunshine on his face with his eyes closed.

~o~0~o~

What an exceptional thing – a person’s mind. Loki’s mind abstracted itself from those he knew, making them strangers, uninvited guests in his world. They were no longer his mother, father, brother. They were the queen, king, and prince of Asgard. Warriors 3 were the warriors; Sif was Odinsson’s friend, all of them companions.

_Because if Loki makes himself remember who they were to him his whole life, and then about how they betrayed him, rejected him, left him to death, fought and hurt him, and then abandoned and forgot about him, letting him out from his hell only for the others to continue hurting him for a crime he had no choice but commit, while standing aside and watching?_

Then he will break down and never recover again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments! They give me life ♥. The number of 'poor Loki's ones was incredible, I even though to rename the chapter..  
> As for this one, what can I say - I love to hate Asgard.

~o~0~o~

3

_How the times have changed_ , Fandral the Dashing thought, confidently walking alongside his friends to meet Thor. His dear friend had just returned from Midgard and brought the news that Loki was to be sent back to the realm for some interrogations. Whenever it was really needed, was another question, because what the mortals could possibly want with the fallen prince after what he has done?

He suspected nothing good.

Afterward, Thor has asked him and their friends to accompany him back to his shield brother’s tower to introduce his old friends to the new ones, but the foremost mission was to make sure Loki was thoroughly contained and did not do anything stupid. Because if Loki did, then Odin gave them any means to stop the prisoner.

The prisoner. Not the son, the prince, the mage. Prisoner. Traitor. Enemy.

_How the times have changed._

Fandral didn’t dare complain – without Loki life went smoother. Not that Loki got in the way much before, but Sif and in a lesser way Hogun were over the moon when Thor told them Loki was to be shut down in the dungeons. Volstagg huffed in disbelief at the Thunderer, until Thor took them all out to celebrate his return. It was a couple of years ago.

If to think, after the battle at the Bifrost, Loki was gone. All was well. And then he was back, straight from the Void. And gone again, imprisoned! Now forever.

Fandral perhaps should be saddened. After all, the Silvertongue was one of them for so long. But why be glum, when you can be merry?

Yet, as strange as it may seem, Fandral missed the Trickster.

Now that Thor was leaving Asgard more often, that he was talking about his new friends with more and more admiration, if not respect, Fandral began to reminisce older days. When everything was so much simpler.

After Jotunheim, _both_ princes have changed. Not just Loki.

There were days when the young warrior drunk in the company of pretty ladies but had to cut the dates short because he heard the name of his once-friend, and the mood soured. No one was allowed to see Loki in the dungeons, but Fandral thought – how was he out there? Mayhap curses all of them, dreams of his revenge? That was all that everyone thought who knew about Loki’s situation.

Fandral didn’t. But he didn’t dare voice it. Thor’s anger was quick to burn at the very mention of his once brother. So the warrior chose not to mention him.

Besides, it was good for the scoundrel to sit and think about his bad behavior that frustrated everyone for centuries.

Or perhaps the warrior was in the wrong here? However, was Loki, the silver-tongued prince, even worth his consideration? He, who betrayed them all?

And there it was. Betrayed. Thor and Sif relentlessly called Loki a traitor. But was he? Fandral was not sure. Because unlike for example Sif, Fandral had no illusions as to whom fell the blame for what happened in those days of Loki’s ruling.

But enough of the past. He must look into the future to better serve the realm and his future king to be worthy of it.

And truthfully? Fandral was glad he would see Loki again. How was he doing after sitting in a cell, all alone? Fandral was sure the Queen visited, if not Thor. His oldest friend was dear to him, but his absolute refusal to see his brother – after he was absent for so long! – was without honor. Instead, Thor spent his time in Vanaheim, killing bandits, in Asgard, drinking, and having fun in taverns, in Midgard. Anywhere but at his brother’s side.

If Loki was even that.

Fandral doubted there was anything left of Thor and Loki’s brotherhood anymore. Loki may now hate Thor for everything he has lost. His freedom, for example. And most of all, his family. Because didn’t he? Perhaps Loki didn’t need them after all. But the thought stung Fandral.

If there was something Fandral feared, it was not death at the hands of his enemies, wasn’t old age.

It was the fear of being alone.

No wonder he had so many friends, why he chose a girl every day to warm his bed, more and more people. Staying alone was a fear he was not proud of.

Nobody knew of his little secret. They also didn’t know he wished Loki was with them. Loki the dark Prince, like no other, knew how it felt being left behind.

Sometimes Fandral thought Loki saw right through him. But because they _were_ friends, he kept his silence and didn’t speak of such shameful fears to anyone. It was one thing Fandral always respected him for.

And how was it Fandral repaid Loki for that?

Loki was left alone on the throne, with no one to turn to. Fandral chose Thor.

Perhaps he would always choose him.

At times Fandral hated his sour and bitter thoughts. They disturbed him, poisoned him when he shouldn’t have to think of it at all. Perhaps this was maturity. And if it was, the best Asgard’s swordsman didn’t like it.

It meant Loki was more mature even in his early years than any of them.

_To Hel with it. He better chatters with Volstagg and sees what his friend got up to today._

~o~0~o~

“What say you, who he will insult first once he is out of the dungeons?” Sif asked them as they were walking to the palace entrance where they would meet their friend and Loki. She, as well as others, had each a hiking bag on their shoulders for their stay on Midgard. It was inconvenient, but they knew nothing of how long they would stay there.

“Thor must have already heard a mouthful, seeing as he has gone to collect him.” Fandral quipped. His armor shone in the sun, his boots making clicking sounds with each step. He looked good. Of course, how could he not? It was his mission to win the heart of every Midgardian woman he met.

“I say he spits his poison next on you, Sif. He always loved you so much, ha-ha!” Volstagg laughed heartily.

“Oh please. As if his feelings were ever honest. I say we keep an eye on his every action. We don’t know what he would do.”

“Try to escape his fair imprisonment? You bet, my friend!”

“He had a lot of time to scheme.” Hogun said.

“To do what?” Fandral inquired curiously.

“To take the throne of course!” Sif hissed indignantly. “What more could the Liesmith want?”

“Oi. They are coming, look!” Volstagg whispered.

Unconsciously every single one of Aesir put a hand on their weapon as the brothers appeared. Loki wore his old armor in which he came from Midgard, already shackled. No muzzle this time, but what good it was if they had a bet? Who would a dog bark at first?

But as soon as Thor and Loki came closer, the comrades’ faces lost their merriment at what they saw. If Loki wore an illusion, it was a damn good one to make the god look bad. But one look at the chains and they understood that it was how Loki really was. And frankly, the sight was startling.

“What is this?” Volstagg muttered darkly. It was not only he who was confused.

The God of Mischief was not one to slouch, but now his spine was hardly straight. His shoulders weighted as if he carried some load, not the shackles on his wrists. He looked lesser somehow. No wonder! Take his armor at least! Loki was lost in it.

His eyes were looking forward, but quickly flying, as if he wanted to see all at once. And those eyes! Wide, shining as if with a fever of unknown origin. Loki’s face became even more sharpened, the lips bloodless and pulled into a thin line.

The Trickster exuded complete calm, not even snapping when Thor pushed him forward. But the eyes of the warriors are always quick to find the flaws in thy enemies, and a small tremor gnawing at Loki's body did not hide from the eyes of the Warriors Three and Sif.

Many a gravely ill looked healthier than the second prince did.

The first to snap out of the shock was Sif. She scowled and couldn’t hold her sneer at Loki’s apparent beat for pity. Because it was exactly it! The dishonorable weakling was pulling the wool over their eyes. Trying to get under their skin! That was why she was here, so no one would be fooled by the trickster’s performance. She never trusted the Liesmith and knew Loki could not be trusted with Thor. Whatever game Loki was playing, it would end soon, once they are on Midgard and the Liesmith – at the hands of his jailers.

Hogun was not far behind, his threat obvious by the strong fingers circling the hilt of his Hridgandr. The Vanir warrior was ready to do what he must should the fallen prince become a problem. His honor demanded it.

Fandral and Volstagg kept looking at Thor’s brother in silent incredulity. It was not at all, what they had expected. Should ask Thor later.

Loki meanwhile, was watching everyone silently, pushed forward by Thor before the group. His tongue did not spew poison, thus rendering their bet null. Not that it was motivating to wager anymore. The bastard stole all the joy.

~o~0~o~

_“I wish to see him when you depart.”_

_“Why are you wasting time thinking of him? He is lost, mother.”_

_“Thor? It is not a request.”_

_“My friends will keep him in check-“_

_“That is not what I meant.”_

_“Mother. He is not worth it.”_

_“How do you know? After you came back, you said you would visit. Did you?”_

_“I had better things to do. Besides, do you really think he would have wanted my presence? He clearly let me know that he sees Odin as my father only. He stabbed me when I implored him to quit his foolish ways. Why should I care for anything he might say?!”_

_“Because you are brothers.”_

_“Mother!”_

_“You know I am against that visit to mortals-“_

_“I have already agreed! And they are in their right.”_

_“Since when you let some strangers decide the fate of your brother?”_

_“Not my brother. Besides, it is not his fate – Loki’s fate is sealed to his cell. It is just – an additional payment.”_

_“Thor. No one placed some additional payment on you while you were banished.”_

_“I did not attack the whole world wanting to destroy it!”_

_“… Did you not?”_

_“I- No! It is not the same! I… It is decided, mother. Father agreed, nothing to be done here. I must go. My friends are waiting for me.”_

_“At least wait for me on the bridge. I wish to bid him farewell.”_

_“Fine. I will wait.”_

~o~0~o~

When Hogun placed a hand on his shoulder, Fandral flinched. He jerked his head to face the man but saw only indifference there.

How could Hogun not see that something terrible happened?

_Nothing personal_. This motto was what let Fandral dance in life and come out on top. But now he couldn’t keep still, his heart was aching. His thoughts scrambled. He was shocked. He wasn’t expecting _that_.

Loki was…

By the Norns, Fandral saw the wars, he saw the consequences. He saw the lads who came back from the horrors. He remembered their empty eyes. The emptiness that Loki now carried inside.

Cringing, Fandral was jerked from his thoughts as he blinked back to the presence of Sif. She was looking concerned.

“Don’t mind the traitor, Fandral. He can’t do anything to anyone.”

_Oh, Sif._

If only she knew the warrior wasn’t afraid of Loki harming anyone. He was beyond himself because of others hurting _him_. Not in the state – awful state, horrible, how could they not _see_ – Thor’s brother was in. And no one gave a damn.

Fandral saw how Loki’s behavior confused his friends and made them grip their weapons tighter.

Thor stepped forward and clutched Loki’s shoulder.

"Let us go, my friends. Loki! I warn you. If you do anything-"

The warrior watched as Thor trailed off. Loki was not paying any attention to his or anyone else threats. It was futile to get the reaction out of him.

What a nightmare.

"Come."

The silence was what was most unusual. Fandral hurried to go after Thor. Volstagg joined as well. Now they walked: Thor surrounded by Fandral and Volstagg, then went Loki, and Sif and Hogun at the rare.

“How was he when you saw him?” Volstagg voiced what Fandral wanted to know.

“I… I don’t know, my friends. His behavior makes me angry. It is like he specifically incites me to violence.” Volstagg hummed, scratching his red beard in thought.

“What did he say?” Thor huffed, irritated.

“Nothing. He said nothing. And it is another reason for my ire.”

“Silvertongue finally turned to lead, huh?” Volstagg laughed, but his heart wasn’t in it. Fandral turned back to catch a sight of Loki and saw a man walking quietly behind them, Hogun making sure to shove Loki forward every time the Trickster stalled.

Loki winced from every touch.

By the Norns.

"Your brother is in quite a mood, is he, Thor?" Fandral muttered.

"Moodiness is the only thing he is good at." Thor watched as anything Sif and Volstagg said to Loki was ignored by the younger god. Loki didn't even look at any of them. And he was silent. Always talking, Silvertongue - the man has yet to say a word to anyone. It was disconcerting, this silence. Thor knew… perhaps he was acting exaggeratedly angry and incensed. Yes, he wanted Loki to feel his wrath, to comprehend how what he has done was monstrous. To him, to their friends, to his parents. To innocent mortals! But seeing Loki quiet and timid did not bring satisfaction. It brought misery and confusion.

Loki needn’t do anything to ruin things.

Damn him!

He wished already to be in the tower so the mortals will take Loki from his hands.

"Don’t worry, Thor. He will not be able to run, it is quite difficult to do without the head. Right, Loki?" Volstagg teased, recalling the old joke when Loki swore that he should not die even if decapitated. It was three hundred years ago, goodness.

If they waited for some kind of reaction, it still didn’t come.

~o~0~o~

“One moment, my friends.”

“Thor, what?” Sif took her usual spot on the prince’s right hand. They have just left the palace and were on their way to the Bifrost. A quick glance at Loki. Wait, what was he looking at?

Oh. The Queen was coming.

Sif bent her brow. If there was someone Loki was going to thaw for, it was Lady Frigga. The woman Loki didn’t deserve.

But unlike Thor, here Sif could not influence anything. The mother's heart cannot be changed.

“My son.”

Sif bowed as the Queen greeted all of them and watched as she stroked Thor’s cheek and murmured something to his ears only. Thor huffed and relented. Then Lady Frigga turned her eyes on her wayward son.

“Loki, my son.” The poor woman tried to catch Loki’s eyes, but the trickster’s gaze slid from her face to somewhere behind her. Somewhere far away. _Was he serious?_

“Loki I want you to know that you were always on my mind.”

“Loki? Talk to me, my son.”

“Loki, please say something. I missed you.”

The way her delicate fingers fidgeted, seeing her son deaf to her words, was painful. Sif realized Thor shared her feelings. And the Thunderer has had enough.

“Loki!”

The way the dark prince looked startled and confused at everyone’s anger was odd. For a moment, Sif doubted Loki did it deliberately. Perhaps there was indeed something wrong. After all, who knew what Loki got up to while in the dungeons.

“Didn’t know you will stoop so low as to hurt mother.”

Volstagg tried to calm Thor, after which Thor hugged his mother and bade her goodbye.

“Goodbye, son. Loki? I…” The desperate way Frigga pleaded with her eyes for Loki to listen to her and received nothing in turn, as if she was invisible…

When Loki walked away without giving his mother even a glance, the woman looked as if her world has just been destroyed.

~o~0~o~

_“I wish to visit.”_

_“I have explicitly forbidden it.”_

_“I am his mother.”_

_“And he is a criminal who thinks nothing of what he’s done!”_

_“Odin. Don’t you think he needs us? He was gone for so long-“_

_“And look at what we got! Mad, ugly creature is what he is. Not our son.”_

_“You are unkind!”_

_“Think, wife. If you visit him, then what? You think he wants to hear your words of love? No! He wants us to suffer, as we suffered when he supposedly died. Do not let him get under your skin. You will see, he will try to speak his way out of his guilt. But I don’t need to remind you that his guilt is absolute. The blood on his hands real. And no amount of your love will change this truth.”_

_“Odin…”_

_“You know what? You can go, Frigga. But I ask you to think first. Are you willing to harden your heart to his madness, forget the past when our son was kind and caring and meet him with caution and wariness he deserves, instead of love and forgiveness? Are you ready to open your eyes on the traitor we raised in our family? To see not your son, but a beast who wanted to kill Thor, your true son, take him from you as he leapt for power?”_

_Frigga had tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew she couldn’t do this._

_“If you do, I give you my blessing. If you are not, stay with me. Stay with Thor. Frigga. I can only support you in your grief, but I will not let Loki destroy our family further. Endanger Asgard. No, I will not. I am prepared to punish him should you fall for his lies. If you go and I see he bewitched you, he will regret it.”_

_Frigga shuddered. She could see it as if it was real: Odin coming with the number of Einherjar. Loki standing up. How they grab her son, push him to the ground, cuff him and drag him away. Asgard has places as horrifying and awful as Hel itself. How Odin punishes his own son. How it was all her own fault. How Loki is brought back and left a broken shell, all because of her…_

_“Odin”. She sobbed. “What do I do?”_

_“Live on Frigga. Visit your sister in Vanaheim. Go back to scrying. I… You can even scry for Loki, if you wish. For how he was. This should bring you peace.”_

_“Husband, our son is right here with us and you wish me to scry as if he is dead?”_

_“Isn’t he?”_

_“No!”_

_“For me, he is. Loki died in the Void. The creature that returned is not my son.” When Frigga turned away, Odin quietly stood behind her and hugged her. “You know what I say is true. Let go, Frigga.”_

_“I will never let go, Odin. But I… I understand. I will harden my heart. And then I will visit him. I owe him this.”_

_“You don’t, but my queen knows better. Have you seen Thor?”_

_“Yes, he went to the barracks. I think your decision to make him general left quite an impression. I haven’t seen him so delighted in some time.”_

_“Yes, my son deserves the title. And soon he will deserve the crown.”_

~o~0~o~

She was so afraid of her own feelings that she could not even _imagine_ that her son would lose any feelings for her.

~o~0~o~

"Heimdall! How are you this fine day?"

"Prince Thor. Lady Sif. Milords."

Thor stole a glance at his brother when the gatekeeper didn't acknowledge Loki. But he wasn't paying attention to them, just silently picking at his hand. His face was void of any genuine emotion ever since Thor first saw him after two years. He already dreamed of getting rid of him as soon as possible.

"To Midgard’s tower, Heimdall. My friends Stark and Rogers are waiting for us."

~o~0~o~


	4. Chapter 4

~o~0~o~

4

A//N: Hi! _Come on. What did you expect?_ XD Here is the next chapter.

Thank you for the crazy feedback, I loved it. Cried a bit. Laughed a bit. You are amazing.

Warnings:

POV here. POV there. POV of one character, then of another one right behind. Hope you won’t be lost.

And of course – poor Loki is trending in this story (should I truly rename it?)

~o~0~o~

The white light subsided and six people found themselves standing on the roof of a great tower. The wind was blowing strong this high. The weather was sunny and the view that opened before them was beautiful, if mostly odd.

While everyone took the landing fine, with practice's ease, Loki was not so lucky. He stumbled horribly, after which he tried to find equilibrium, but because of the manacles on his hands, Loki fell down on his knees anyway.

“I see your time in the dungeon has made you no less graceful, Loki.” Fandral joked but wasted no time to help the prince stand up. The warrior’s smile dimmed, however, when, after finally standing straight Loki evaded the touch as if it burned.

Thor huffed at the scene and turned to look around.

At the same time Volstagg the Valiant could not help but grimace at the sheer bad taste of both view and smells around him. Thor Odinson may be familiar with the place, having visited Midgard many a time recently, but Volstagg so far visited only the dessert that left much to be desired. Now this view hasn’t improved his attitude towards Midgard that much. Everything was gray or brown, the myriad of buildings was tasteless and there was no greenery. He heard from Thor that there was a forest here, a beautiful place. Hard to believe, but he trusted Thor. However, they were deposited here. Bless Heimdall and his true aim, or they’d had fallen a long way down.

The rooftop was also nothing special. A wide patio with so much glass and gray stone. The room behind the glass doors was spacious. And empty. So far, for him, there was no excitement on the topic of their accommodations.

No water, no trees, no culture. Only straight lines, a little color, no imagination. Perhaps it was only here that was so sad?

“Well! Here we are!” Fandral exclaimed excitedly. That lad was happy anywhere he went.

“That we are. My prince Thor? I would have liked to walk this city first before going straight here. Is there a reason it is not so?”

Thor meanwhile took Sif and Fandral’s bags from them and dropped them on a small ledge under the roof. His blue eyes flickered to Loki’s bare hands and quickly reverted away. Loki himself after his embarrassing feat of falling alike a newborn doe was now standing still on the roof edge.

Too still if asked Volstagg.

This won’t do. The last thing they needed was for Loki to fall down.

“Tony Stark asked to bring Loki here, to his tower.” Thor answered nonchalantly.

“The park you mentioned-“

“He insisted.” Thor muttered. Well, all right then. Fandral looked between them with surprise, perhaps finding no reason for Thor’s suddenly foul mood.

“Perhaps the Man of Iron doesn’t want for the innocent bystanders to see _him?_ ” He said lightly with a nod to Loki. Who was still standing as if frozen? What was the matter with him?

“Good choice. This way he will not be able to do anything.” Sif added, heading to the glass doors, which will lead them inside the tower. Hogun and Fandral followed her lead. Thor was a step behind until he stopped abruptly and turned back.

“Loki!”

Said Loki was quietly looking around himself, not minding anyone. Amazing, no poison from those lips. But now he pretends to be deaf as well? Volstagg didn’t understand what game Loki was playing.

“Loki, I grow tired of waiting.”

Volstagg who took the initiative as not to upset the Crown Prince, came closer to Loki and placed a heavy hand on the younger god’s shoulder. To near immediately take it away.

Sweet Norns. The material of Loki’s coat did a good job of concealing the true state of one’s body. But if you touch, it showed. Loki was skinny, Volstagg found it hurt his heart. For him, no one deserved to starve. Or lose all muscles (not that Loki was ever muscular). But it seemed the lad had it bad. It seemed he could break Loki’s bones by just squeezing hard enough.

Volstagg smiled encouragingly at Thor to show he had the situation under his control. Thor huffed, but soon smiled and turned back to their friends.

Overcoming his own struggling feelings, Volstagg pushed Loki between the shoulder blades. Loki came willingly; to join all of them before the glass doors that were yet to open for them.

“Why can’t we enter, my prince?” Fandral asked. He eyed the place suspiciously. Sif placed the hand on his shoulder.

Thor looked inside the grand room where years ago, they apprehended Loki in his defeat. The same place where Thor Odinson swore to have anything to do with the criminal and a murderer his adopted brother turned into. Indeed adopted, because no one with the blood of Odin All-Father would allow himself to fall so low and attack peaceful people.

As the muzzle locked itself on the trickster’s face, Thor felt relieved. At that time, it only remained to clean up the mess and apologize for the wiles of Loki, now no one but a villain.

Then – back home. Back to familiar life.

“Machine? Jarvis! Let us enter!” Quite proud that he remembered Tony Stark's spirit’s name, Thor knocked on the doors. Sif watched him with a raised brow.

“Good afternoon Thor Odinson and his companions. Sir and other Avengers will join you in a minute.” The calm voice was heard from everywhere. All but Thor jumped in surprise. Volstagg quickly grabbed the hilt of his ax, but let go with an exhalation. That’s right. The voice in the walls, as Thor said.

Turning to ask Loki if he had met such invention before (out of habit, nothing more), Volstagg noticed how Loki for the first time showed something other than the melancholy and indifference that made his brother so angry. The more he watched Thor, the more his eyes became calculated and wary, his fingers flexing minutely. However, no more than that.

Perhaps he realized that there was nowhere for him to hide?

The Aesir didn’t have to wait long. Jarvis opened the sliding doors for them just as the elevator inside the penthouse binged and out came the famous Avengers.

The two groups of people met.

Thor stood at the center of the room, Sif on his left and Hogun on his right. Fandral was behind them, on the left side, stopping near the spacious leather couch. The tip of his sword found its place on the journal table. Volstagg joined him, thus finishing the circle. Loki, who was pushed the last few steps after the doors slid open, was now standing on the far edge of the said circle near the wall of windows. Separate from everyone.

The first to come out from the elevator to greet the newcomers was Captain Steve Rogers. Back straight, the steps wide and confident, he walked to meet Thor as the leader he was. Captain America was in his combat uniform, with the colorful shield completing the image.

Following after the Captain was Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow. She too was armored with her widow bites, her body hugged by the similar black suit she wore in battle against Loki. Her steps noiseless, the spy walked to the left, stopping right before Loki, not taking her eyes from his for some moments before pretending to relax. Anyone who knew her could say that whatever she was pretending or not, she was always ready for an attack. 

The next one to come out was Bruce Banner. The Asgardians didn’t know what to think of seeing the meek and visibly weak mortal. Only Thor knew how strong and uncontrollable the beast appeared in the stead of a small doctor. By far he was the only one not armored and without any weapon. Not that he needed it. Bruce shifted seeing everyone staring at him and lifted a hand in greeting. He chose to stand before Fandral, who gave him a wide smile.

And the last one was Tony Stark aka Iron Man. The man was hidden behind his metal suit, full with a faceplate. The distinct sound of repulsors charging could be heard as he stepped forward at his home. Stopping by Rogers’ left hand, he nodded to him.

The Avengers were assembled.

Thor smiled, seeing his friends healthy and together. He even smirked, as he realized they have heeded his warnings regarding Loki and came prepared for any tricks.

Speaking of Loki. Whether by accident or not, the chains on Loki's hands creaked, causing a deafening sound to be heard in the previously silent room. All this made the heads of every Avenger turn in the direction of the one who gathered them all here together. Loki. And judging by how their stances tensed, the stares hardened and the hands by their sides twitched, they were as much excited to see him as the Aesir were, for sure.

The Trickster in turn glanced lazily at each person, especially stopping at the weapons everyone was holding his way, then sighed softly and looked down. His eyes blurred and he seemed to have lost interest in what was happening around him.

And that seemed to finally break the ice.

“Greetings my friends!” Thor smiled. The prince of Asgard stepped forth and shook hands with Steve as the one closest to him.

“Thor.” The Captain nodded. Thor frowned because his friend had always met him with a warm smile, but now all the warmth was gone. Instead, there was only solemnity and caution. Perhaps Loki unnerved him? Thor remembered how it was Steve who all but demanded Loki be brought here, to face their justice no less. As the man of duty and righteousness, Steve had every right to make Loki pay for all the trouble he caused.

Before Thor could reassure his friend that he need not worry, Tony Stark walked past him – just like he did on the Hellicarier the second time they met – and brushed his biceps just the same.

“Point Break. See you finally stopped by. And with a village! Didn’t think you will bring so many of your friends here. Thought we needed only one alien, not five?” he joked.

The Warriors Three looked bewildered. Had this mortal just insulted them?

“Ah, yes. These are my friends. Fandral the Dashing, the finest swordsman in all of Asgard,” who bowed dramatically. “Hogun the Grim, the enemies flee from his mace,” who blinked. “This one is Volstagg the Valiant, my biggest friend,” Volstagg laughed at the joke and slapped his belly. “My Lady Sif, the strongest of us all - except me, of course,” Sif huffed and nodded to the silent Avengers. “And me.” Thor finished with a smile.

Bruce waved to all of them. “Hi.” Then his eyes flickered to Loki, who was yet to speak or move. Suddenly Loki looked right back at him, and the doctor stuttered and blushed. Coughing, he muttered his hello. The second time.

“So! Welcome to Avengers Tower. Tony Stark. It’s all mine by the way. I guess you will wonna crash here with Thor. Odin got generous on vacation time?” Stark has finally retreated his helmet into the armor so everyone could see his smirk. Sif didn't like that grin, while Fandral, on the contrary, was inspired by the manner of this strange mortal. This Iron Man reminded him of himself. And a little bit of Loki on his best days.

“Someone is going to make sure that one is not up to something.” Volstagg said with a shrug. Everyone still stood so uptight so he decided to go and sit on a couch. What proved to be a flimsy thing. No matter.

Steve turned to look at Volstagg with a frown. Sif raised a brow. Why did she think they did not expect them? Didn’t Thor tell them they were coming?

“Is everything all right?” She asked. The Captain looked at her with slight interest. All the while his shield was up.

“Yes, sure. Just thinking if it is not an overkill.” His eyes counted every one. Ten people to watch over one Loki.

“Not with the Liesmith.” The shieldmaiden remarked.

“Sorry? Liesmith?” Bruce asked with a confused air around him. Sif went to answer, but Thor stopped her. He didn’t want to have this conversation again. Why must he need to explain why Loki was like that every damn time?

“I will tell you some other time, Banner.” With this Thor begun to introduce his mortal friends to his Aesir ones. Somehow he thought this meeting would have more friendly air around them, but so far it was full of tension. The Avengers were very serious and their wariness surely passed to others. And all because of Asgard’s black sheep.

“My friends. I see not all Avengers are present. What of Barton? Will he come?”

“He is busy. Assignment from Shield.” Natasha answered nicely, speaking for the first time. Not moving from her place near Loki, she just changed her position slightly, leaning against the thick glass hiding the sounds of the city. Well, and the abyss below.

“Ah. I thought he would want to be present.” Thor shook his head.

“Oh? Why is that? Reunion of the best buds, huh?” Tony inquired in big interest. ‘Best buds’ must have been Loki and Clint. Bruce fidgeted while Steve waited for an answer.

“To… get satisfaction.”

Тo one missed the true meaning of what was said, given the history of Loki and Barton and what the archer had to go through, through the fault of the disgraced god.

Who seemed to become paler as time passed by. Whose shoulders sank lower and lower under the weight of the bounds, and whose wrists appeared rubbed raw. Whose eyes became empty and lifeless, detached.

Sif looked down at that shameful weakness. Loki looked pathetic, inappropriate. He could at least take the guilt with pride. He was the Prince of Asgard once. But it seemed he really has fallen too low. The mortals clearly saw this weakness as well, which made her think their actions became more unsympathetic. The way they looked at each other as if silently communicating. How their hands flexed in aborted motions. As if they were ready and prepared to attack.

Sif was only here as a warden. As Thor's support.

Loki would have to deal.

“Right.” Tony Stark retorted. “Who wouldn’t?” But then the dexterous mortal shook his head and smiled the smile Sif started to quietly hate. “Are you lot hungry? Thirsty? Wanna lay down? Jarvis will fill you in on the rules of living in the tower soon. If you don’t know anything, ask him. He is a dear. Now!” And finally, after all this time Tony was the first to acknowledge the guest of honor.

“Loki. How is it going? It’s been a while... You ok there? Want a glass of water, maybe? Or a drink I promised you, remember? No? _Fine_. Nat?” Stark huffed and walked away, shaking his head a little. He seemed greatly frustrated. Thor closed his eyes.

“Do not upset yourself, Stark. Loki is… _being difficult_.” He groused the last bit with a look at Loki, who was again ignoring everyone for the sake of chaos. Stark laughed bitterly, but did not turn, instead, a blue hologram appeared over his forearm and he began to whisper something softly.

“Is he?” Natasha asked taking place Tony vacated a moment ago. The question was addressed to Thor, but her gaze was zeroed on Loki still.

“Silvertongue fell out.” Volstagg grinned. Fandral meanwhile took place beside his big friend and hearing him say it, shamelessly hit him on the shoulder.

“Very funny.” That was from Banner. Didn’t he like the joke, Volstagg thought? So glum. “Loki do you hear me?”

The longer Loki was silent, the angrier Thor became. His hand itself fell on the hammer, dreaming of beating the hell out of the traitor's head. It was so funny to make everyone angry after all, wasn’t it?

“ _Answer_ him, you wretch.”

“Hey! Let's calm down.” Steve walked to Thor and placed his hand over the thunderer’s own on Mjolnir. Surprise Thor felt at the action took the god’s wrath momentarily away.

“Yeah, no need for aggression. Hulk might not like it.” Bruce quipped from where he had backed off to the elevator.

“Hulk?” Fandral asked. Thor nodded to Steve that he was calm. He was. Surely Loki would throw another trick to bring mayhem, but for now, he will stay composed. For his friends’ sake. But should Loki piss him off again, there will he Hel to pay.

“The green friend, Fandral. I spoke of him. Loki might remember him best.” Thor just couldn’t not mention it. There were not a lot of times in their lives when Thor could best Loki in remembering past failures. Most often, it was Loki who contrived to come up with such masterly expressions to humiliate Thor with just one phrase. Now was Thor’s turn.

Thor found that while his Aesir friends followed his lead, his mortal friends smiled, but it was obvious the mood was dark and sullen. Loki was guilty, of course, but something still felt odd, ever since coming on Midgard.

“Something wrong?” He queried uncertainly. He knew it was but didn’t know how to seek the truth out of them.

Sif, who stood ready for any action, because angry Thor meant trouble, had no patience for any presence anymore. Thor may pretend everything was good, but the truth was different.

“Of course, there is something wrong, my Prince! Remember these mortals have seen much destruction from Loki. I understand it is no laughing matter for them. And seeing his face is likely to revive all the bad memories. How long it will be going on? Perhaps it is time to do something about it already?”

Which meant Loki has overstayed his warm welcome.

Steve Rogers, the last one to address Loki, slowly made his way to him. He saw Tony, who was back and no longer busy with his project nod to him. The soldier grabbed his shield more firmly.

“Loki? Loki I am Steve Rogers. It was I who asked Thor to bring you here.” Despite the fact that Steve tried to speak evenly, his facial expressions let him down a little. There was disquiet in his blue eyes. Foreboding. “Do you know why you are here?”

The silence after the question asked was ominous. Everyone was waiting for at least some reaction from the fallen god.

And they got it.

Loki closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. And as he exhaled, his shoulders shook with silent laughter. Opening green eyes that seemed to capture Steve’s very soul, Loki gave him such an indulgent little smile, as if the man in front of him was a madman and not he. And as if realizing his adversary didn’t get the joke, rolled his eyes and shook his head in slight disappointment.

This was the last straw for Thor.

With a growl, he threw himself at Loki, who had no time to react for Thor was very fast when enraged. The Captain was not quick enough to apprehend Thor as well, his eyes widening seeing Thor seizing Loki’s neck and pushing him into a wall.

“You find it funny? Huh?” Loki jerked to the side, but Thor was ready for it. He gripped Loki’s chin and was raging in his face.

“What game are you playing Loki? Answer me!”

When there were no honeyed words heard in response, Thor grabbed his shoulders and pushed him hard against the wall. Loki’s face contorted in a grimace of pain. Whatever Odinson has hurt – Loki’s head or back - he was not finished.

“You stand here and ruin everything just by breathing! You mock _me_! But you shouldn’t have ignored mother!” Another hit, the hands that were trying to stop him from behind, mortal hands, fall short. “Are you completely deranged? Completely heartless?”

Loki was gasping, his bound hands tried to get Thor’s arms away from him, but forces were unequal.

The mortals were persistent, but Thor hasn't said everything yet.

“Filthy Jotun! She has raised you, loved you and you _made her cry_!”

But Loki was not reacting as he should. The coward should have had covered in fright. But Loki only fought back, no matter how useless. He didn’t understand anything he was told. Thor saw no recognition, no guilt of mentioning Frigga. As if he really didn’t care.

That Thor couldn’t stand.

“All you do is hurt others!”

Thor raised his fist and struck.

Loki fell.


	5. Chapter 5

~o~0~o~

5

A//N: Thank you so much for your comments. Here is the next chapter.

Fair warning: I have unintentionally mixed up a lot of things in this story and a lot of Marvel movies that will have things wrong, some characters absent or the timeline plainly incorrect, and you could expect me to not care.

Enjoy!

~o~0~o~

Ever since he stepped out of the burned circle left after Bifrost, Loki’s thoughts were scattered in different directions. Oh, how he missed this bombardment of what his eyes saw, his ears heard, his feelings whispered to him. The stillness had its charm ( _especially when it doesn’t hurt_ ), but this… this…

It was strange to be back on Midgard. When he walked after Thor and his lackeys, he did not really believe they would _actually_ come there. Who knew what lies Aesir could concoct? And now he _was_ here, standing on the roof. The wind was so strong, it was nice feeling it in his hair.

_How high_. If to think, this may be the tallest building Loki had ever stood upon. _I didn’t care for the height last time, now did I? It will be a pity to fall all these stories down. Pity. Perhaps. Down, down, down. A lot of time to think about life._ Not that he didn’t think about his life for all the years he was locked up in different places. _How strange that even after all that has happened, I am still full of fear of heights. After all, if I fall now, most likely nothing will happen to me. Thor will fly after me with his hammer. Perhaps even that little man who can fly in the iron suit will also orient himself and pick me up. It is funny. They will not dare to let me die, while they will not at all mind letting me suffer. What an interesting alignment._

Fascinating, no sign of the battle that was fought here. Everything was repaired, reconstructed. Loki almost did not recognize the Tower, but he could still remember what he felt: so much power, so much thrill, and at the same time… nothing at all.

_It was not my battle. It was not my army. It was not me._

But life goes on. The Tower and the city below stand strong. As if Loki was not ever here.

_Perhaps I indeed wasn’t? And it was all my fevered dream? Wouldn’t it be fun to let myself believe it? Definitely would not be the first time._

He was distracted shortly by the push at his back. He must have zoned out. Apparently, the gods were tired of waiting and the mortals eager to start their game.

Oh. Yes. The heroes that defeated the disgusting monster. _Are they famous now? Is Loki also famous? In a bad way of course. How simple can a society believe anything it is told._ Loki knew, he remembered when he came down to Midgard and how gullible the humans were. How angry. How cruel. How much changed?

Loki would have gladly helped them. Truly, he had nothing against them, not really. He was mostly disappointed. Most of them were called intelligent beings. But even they found no fault in his absurd actions.

_Did Thanos? Did Thanos found out? Apparently yes. Who would have told him? Spies? The Other? Is that creature even alive yet?_

But enough with the past. He must concentrate on what was happening now. It was difficult but necessary.

_Would they please stop pushing me around?_

Where were the mortals? No one was meeting them? Did they forget? Or was Thor meant to wait? The doors to the apartment were closed.

_How peculiar. And I thought Thor Odinsson was welcome anywhere and always. Any other time the disrespect shown like that to the prince was worth a holmgang. Perhaps the humans see no fault to make Thor wait as a dog waits for its masters. And yes, the machine. Jarvis. Quite the creation. Should concentrate on the fact that your jailors (torturers) will be coming soon. Of course, we will have a joyful disgusting greeting, for we are all friends here, yes, yes. All friends. Thor making friends whenever he walks. Anyway, that inevitable moment will come all the same, when the humans finally pay attention to me. But aren’t we ready, Loki? It is not HIM, so what need we have for fear? Everything ends after all._

Finally. Some action. At last, the two groups of people met.

_What do I feel?_

So far? He had the enemies only around. Armed. Ready. All hating him. And here was Loki. Standing alone. Stranded. Shackled.

But not helpless. Never helpless. Never again. If he devised a plan to run away from his enemies once, Loki could do it again. And again, if needed. To run, away, so far away. Even if the way out was one’s last destination in life.

But it was only the very last choice. Because nothing has happened yet. No need to hurry.

After two years, there was indeed no hurry in his mind.

Of course, Thanos could come, but without the Tesseract who knows how long the journey to the Nine Realms will take him?

One can dream.

_Concentrate! What is happening?_

Everyone was looking at him. But at the other Aesir as well. Don’t they like the newcomers? Were they not expected? Strange, strange. What else?

_‘Greetings, my friends!’_ Ugh, every time Thor says it, something in Loki twists, throughout all his years of following Thor. _But what was that?_ Cold reception, were they upset with Thor? _Do I care?_

All this meaningless small talk. The insults were thrown his way. Should he remember these people? He did remember them, some better than others. What should be his strategy here? Try to play on their fears, their feelings?

Should he at all?

Talking, talking. He was tired, he has gone by foot for such a great distance already. Two years of physical stillness was not a good idea. All Loki wanted to do was sleep, however absurd it sounded. Because look at all the chaos his presence stirred around! And he was choosing oblivion.

Will he be brought to another cell? Please let it be without light, please. Would they permit him to sleep? The Other didn’t like it when he fell unconscious.

_‘Loki. How is it going? It’s been a while... You ok there?’_ Through the fog, he realized Stark was talking to him. Tony Stark. Iron Man. What did he ask again?

_But of course, someone else has something to say. My words have no worth. Even if I did say them._

The spy woman was watching him. The green ogre tried not to but failed. _Am I that interesting_?

The good thing that as he was preparing his psyche for mortals, his mind was calm.

Whatever awaited, Loki had made a choice not to be intimidated by physical pain. No damage to himself can make him go against his principles. He had survived the fall to the void, he had survived the remaking of his soul, he endured the awful feeling of abandonment and was brought to the lowest levels of despair. But. He survived. And he will continue this path until he could no longer.

It took some time, a lot of thinking (what else to do but think when you are alone and suffering – on Sanctuary or in his chambers, in his cell or in the human bunker). But in the end, Loki could understand that there was no way to change anything that happened since letting go, and instead of berating himself further, he focused on two things that his fevered mind had been thinking of: one was to not cause trouble by not allowing anyone to control him and two to escape. And by escaping, he didn't mean reckless grabbing of guns and shooting everyone around. No, it was much simpler and only something he could do. Nothing he could not achieve.

Be Loki.

He will endure whatever fate throws at him.

_For myself._

~o~0~o~

When Loki’s head hit the wall behind, all the god could think of was…

_Thor still hits like a boar. Clumsy and weak. If Obsidian were here, he would show this oaf what it truly meant to hit._

And then finding himself on the floor, his jaw tender and an eye stinging, he thought…

_Still… it hurts._

It was embarrassing. Sitting on the floor after just one hit was humiliating, but at least he could comfort himself that his shape was not… _ideal_ at the moment. And if the mortals had any say (and they did), he would not be feeling good for a long time to come.

_Hey! Better get used to it, Loki dear. You thought this peaceful illusion would last?_

Of course, he needed to get used to it. And what was sadly true, it was already like that for Loki for so many years thus far. He just conveniently made himself forget about most of it. Thor did indeed often lost his cool while talking to Loki. And more times than Loki could count it ended up with a fist to a face. Thank the Norns, the illusion could always help in hiding such disgrace.

Not that he didn’t deserve it. Perhaps he did. Loki himself wasn’t sure if anything he’s ever done was not wrong. Because he was wrong. _(No, I am not!)_ Perhaps Thor and others were entitled _(Stop! They were in the wrong! Please, stop-)_ , but what did it matter now? After the horrors, Thor’s behavior was nothing but that of a spoiled angry stupid boy.

Loki knew better now, and he pitied Thor Odinsson. So a hit was meaningless and Thor unworthy of his consideration.

_Enough! You will miss the show._

So while he knew his face hurt and his back was aching after being thrown into the hard surface behind, Loki found that he didn’t want to miss the reactions of the people around. It was ought to be fun, wasn’t it?

It was. The Captain – who was responsible for the situation – was pushing Thor away from him. Was Thor so angry still that poor soldier strained all his muscles to fight him off? Steve Rogers should perhaps let him be. Another hit or three and Thor would be satisfied and happy once again. His justified rage would be gone and he would once again be a beloved friend.

Finally, Captain Perfect pulls Thor away from him, and the beast tries to examine his head.

_Ah ah ah. Not necessary. I'll do it. My head was hit quite often, it will survive. Besides, I’m not a fan of those strong green hands, which could bring nothing good. Although ... Isn't that what I need to prepare for in advance? I am completely at their mercy. Yessss. Even talking can’t get me out. The last time it rolled. And now ... Bad luck_.

Perhaps it was better to sit for a bit? There was so much excitement around. Everyone busy. Should he really need to be present for it now?

_Yes! Keep your eyes open. It is not safe, you are not in that blasted box anymore. Be cautious. Always._

Loki did not even know that he needed this shake-up, because he almost went into his meditative state. Well, what do you want? He _was_ exhausted. First Asgard. _So many people, everyone watching for you to fail._ Then the abyss. Just for a second, but even that made him feel that his heart could not stand it. All the same, he has always had a very good imagination.

_In his nightmares, more than once, he was taken from prison by force. And then his enemies used Bifrost to throw his weak body at the feet of the titan. And all under the gloomy, cold-blooded gaze of Heimdall._

But back to the present.

Such a mess, and because of what? A stupid question. Because such questions usually beget laughter.

_Do you know why you are here?_

Just how could he stay silent and not laugh? This captain was the personification of goodness and righteousness. It was very funny. Phew, mortals.

_Why? To be punished of course! Be my next in line._

And Thor Odinsson, always ready to come to the aid of everyone who, in his opinion, was innocently offended by a vile creature such as Loki.

_You know better, Thor. Right?_

_You know better, always. Silly me._

So he laughed. Really, what did they expect him to do? Cover up in fear? Plead for mercy? He didn’t cover before Odin when he was sentenced to literal death (with its endless days and loneliness and madness). He did not plead to Thanos (he screamed, howled but did not beg, never).

Again, what did these mortals expect?

Remembering the short time he had before Prince Thor dragged him away from the box, Loki had time to imagine how he might be welcomed on Midgard. Long gone was the silly wish of coming down to this world and introducing himself as Loki. Not as some alien conqueror, but Loki, the God of Mischief, the Prince of Asgard, the mage. Of him, meeting the same Avengers who brought him on his knees ( _wrongfully, you are not looking the right way!),_ but still the people who had protected their home realm from the evil forces ( _that’s you, no?_ ).

After some thought, four different scenarios played out in his mind. 

Nice.

Even after Thor deposited him here with nothing but scorn and hatred aimed his way, the mortals would treat him with respect. They would seek intelligence. They would have patience until Loki would tell them what he knew mostly in gratitude for the attitude of decency and kindness. They would provide him with food and a place to sleep. They would not hurt him. This short visit would soothe some ache until everything would be back to how it was. A box, emptiness and death.

Neutral.

In this scenario, Loki could hope for a cold, unemotional greeting, aimed at extorting all the necessary information from him that Odin considered needless, using all the necessary methods. Many of the Avengers were assassins, criminals and turncoats, and knew a lot about getting what they wanted. Loki wouldn't have a fun time, but at least he could count on their common sense.

Bad.

Here there would be a lot of unpleasant experiences. He could count forever what kind of treatment he had already endured, but maybe the mortals would surprise him? His life would be miserable, and all he would wait for was the time Thor would deign to take him away. That is to say, if he wouldn’t participate himself.

Very bad.

_The Other_ kind of reception. Who knew what an angry man or woman could do if they truly hated someone? And this band of misfits had all the resources to make his life a living hell. The only thing he could hope for was that they would not maim him permanently. But if they thought he deserved it…

_What would it be, hm?_

Alright, stop!

_Why so glum? I need to cheer up. Seeing how warm my welcome was so far, I can check out the first scenario. It is neutral so far, just need to take notice if it will come to bad or worse. Because as Thor so kindly assured him right now, some pain has already started._

~o~0~o~

Steve restrained Thor as they continued to grapple. God, it was difficult, the man was like a mountain. He should have reacted sooner, so nothing like that could have happened!

“Why are you sitting there? Help us!” Steve shouted at Thor’s friends – strong friends, ‘mighty’ friends as their prince called them once, who could actually make a difference. But not one of the Asgardians made a move. They have stayed at their places, just watching the happenings. Was it the usual thing for them? To stay aside while Thor did things like that? Have they ever stood between Thor’s anger and Loki?

Finally, the Thunder God relented. Steve pushed Thor away from Loki, who now sat on the floor looking nowhere, his face devoid of anything. Stark has taken place at Thor’s back, his repulsors shining bright with power ready to shoot.

“Alright, Captain. I am calm. Friend Stark? No need for a weapon. Loki would not dare to make a move.” The Aesir prince watched how Bruce tried to touch Loki’s shoulder, but instead got the god to flinch from the touch.

Loki deserved it. He did.

“Why are you fussing over him? Leave him.” Bruce raised his head in surprise, his glasses sliding at the tip of his nose.

“What? Do you think we should just ... do nothing?” He asked bewildered. The doctor in him opposed such an attitude, even to a recognized criminal.

“Of course.” He nodded. And murmured, thinking no one heard him. “Who cares?”

“Indeed.” Natasha purred, looking him in the eyes. Seemed like he was heard after all.

Thor huffed and finally sat on the couch. His warrior friends soon joined him.

“Better take him away before my patience with his despicable behavior runs out.”

A moment’s stillness and then it was gone. Tony Stark turned off his repulsors and after watching around at everyone present, went to get Loki on his feet. The god still evaded any touch, quite successfully, and stood up himself, using the wall as a crutch. After that, Stark nodded to Banner and they led Loki to another corner of the spacious room where the bar was located. A quite familiar bar – for Tony and Loki. Bruce was already picking up the medkit from the cabinet, as Loki had a split lip and the blood needed to be wiped away.

Once the three were out of earshot, Rogers turned to look at Thor in disapproval. Though it hardly discouraged Thor from retorting.

“Steve, you should not take this attitude from him.”

“No harm was done, Thor.” Steve said calmly. He chose to stand over the Asgardian, making him look up.

“He must know how to behave before his betters.” Volstagg added. Captain looked at Natasha helplessly.

“Where does _this_ even come from?” At this the enormous warrior blinked in surprise, thinking what he said wrong to displease the mortal leader.

“It just is. But then now you will have your recompense.” He said with a sad smile.

Thor caught the sight of how Bruce gave Loki the cotton roll after an unsuccessful try at helping out. Seeing no reaction whatsoever, Stark shook his head, but not before clenching his fist in disapproval. Even when good people tried to help Loki, the serpent turned it off as if it was beneath him. Let him. He didn’t care. He didn’t care.

“Yes. That was what we agreed upon.” Natasha sat before the Aesir. Fandral smiled at her, to what she smiled in turn. Sif, who sat between Fandral and Thor didn't like that smile. Natasha, noticing it, smiled at her as well.

“So. Loki. Anything we should know before we... start?” She asked. All her movements were light and easy. She was the only woman in the company of men. But as Sif noticed, this did not bother her in the least. Sif could never be so relaxed, even with Thor and the Warriors Three.

“In what way?” Sif decided to speak to the mortal. Besides, her question was asked so casually, although the topic was far from simple. 

“What was the verdict again?” This Natasha spoke smoothly, much like Loki. And just as duplicitous.

“Imprisonment.”

“Right. How long has he been locked up already?”

Sif looked at Fandral, who avoided her look. Thor pretended not to hear the questions asked. Sif actually had to count. As if she needed to notice when the second prince had stopped being around. He was presumed dead not so long ago.

“Nearly two years. I think.”

“He sat with someone.” Natasha didn’t say it as a question. Which sounded absurd.

“No. By himself. No one deserves to hear his lies.” Sif said angrily. She didn’t want to talk about Loki anymore.

“What lies?” Natasha didn’t relent in her interrogation. Sif was not surprised actually. “Did he say something?”

“Why?” Sif could also play this game. Natasha smiled mildly again. Sif hated it.

“No reason. Just gathering intel.”

She saw Fandral fidgeting and Volstagg looking around. Oh, so they weren’t comfortable? Why, Sif was the one who was pinned under that viper’s gaze. Her friend Captain America apparently gave his woman comrade complete carte blanche, sitting and listening attentively and not interfering with his own questions. Sif huffed. Hogun could have helped her, but he apparently was above it. The boys would pay for this, Sif vowed.

“He said nothing.”

“Nothing at all? Interesting. He must have something to hide.”

“You should be careful with anything he says, mortals.” Natasha nodded in complete understanding. Before-

“I see you are very knowledgeable of him.”

“I know him.”

“Of course. I would like to thank you for this conversation. It was very helpful.”

“I... yes, of course. If it helps.” What? Sif thought the mortal was being mean, but… It seemed not.

“Great. Thanks for that.” And now the smile was very warm. Sif got confused.

“Don’t know about you guys but I'm starving.” That was Thor, who has finally stopped looking at the two scientists, who were coming back with Loki. In the end the smear of blood, left after the blow was wiped out by Loki’s sleeve. So all that fussing was pointless after all.

“Someone said food? Hahaha!” Aesir laughed. Volstagg was already on his feet and looking for the table, where the closed boxes were. It seemed the food was yet to be opened and just delivered, but the Avengers haven’t got time to get to it before Aesir have come with the prisoner.

“Traitor should be secured.” Hogun uttered and the mood shifted from merry to serious in a second.

“Sorry. Traitor?” Bruce asked curiously. His hand was of strange color, Fandral noticed. Some yellow color, not yet green.

Hogun said nothing more.

“Right. Well, there is food, go at it if you want. Jarvis took care of it. Tony Stark called cheerfully. “Steve, would you mind showing our holy quintet around? I guess our guest had a very busy day.”

“Sure. Tony? Please take Loki to his… room. Take him away.”

“That is how you call a cell here?” Sif wondered aloud.

“You got me, Xena. Loki here is going to like his new accommodations. Anyone would be jealous.”

“A fine jest, Man of Iron. Shall I come too?” Thor playfully threw his Mjolnir up and down.

“No need. I am fully capable to... take care should anything happen.” Tony responded, for once completely serious.

“That you are.” Thor smiled, satisfied.

“Anything else anyone wants to say maybe? Before we go?”

Thor has finally looked at Loki. Still the same quiet, detached, empty man.

“... No.”

“Fine.”

“I’ll meet you at the conference room later, Tony.”

“Yeah, Cap.”

~o~0~o~

As they walked the halls, Loki found that he didn’t much care for his surroundings. He thought he would, to always be aware. But his head was hurting and he was drained. Besides, what good would it do? The mortals would find him a hole he could be pushed in and leave. What good it would do to worry about it.

When he came back to awareness, he saw where exactly he was. Tony Stark beside him was holding his arm very tentatively ( _How did I miss when he did that?),_ as he led him into…

Huh?

The chamber surprised him, and there was something to be surprised about. First, it was large, reminding him of his own chambers in Asgard, with wide and high windows on the left showing the evening sky and the city below. There was also a balcony. At the center stood the bed, neatly made, with a dark gray bedspread and five pillows. There was a mural over the bed, showing some kind of tree with every color of green imaginable. It was nice. The chairs and a bookcase stood at the right, all made in dark shades. There was also a desk, on which there was a small notebook, a plant and a lamp. The door at the corner must have led to the bathroom.

This chamber was a place to relax. It had everything that was needed. It was… not a cell.

What?

He slowly turned to look at his host. Did they miss the right room? Or was it a joke?

Waiting for jeering or apprehension, all that Loki saw in mortal’s eyes was concern.

_What was… going on?_

Perhaps he has already started dreaming. Must be it.

“Jesus, Horns. Erm. Right. You saw me back there. But do you, like, _remember_ me?”

When he stayed silent, the mortal quietly cursed, then took a hold of himself and smiled at him.

“Yeah, Tony Stark. I um… Sorry, sorry. Drink?” Seeing no reaction, Stark started to fidget more. What was wrong with him?

“Oh shit. Or water?... No? Okay. Yeah, please sit down.”

Loki sat. How _soft_.

“I am not sure what Thor said to you about why you are here, but… Hey, you okay?”

Again with that question. He was _okay_. And Thor did tell why he was here. Nothing good awaited him, so it was more and more confusing as to what this exact mortal with the iron heart was blubbering about. It must be one of their techniques to lull him into a false sense of security and then strike. Strike hard and without remorse. He would prefer this option instead of slow evisceration, as his captors did.

How could there be any other reason?

“Anyway, we have made some investigation, Jarvis started it, but then Vision – he is a new guy in our team by the way. Yeah, Vision has a mind stone – as he calls it – inside his brain and… Please let me know if you are okay, buddy, I don’t know if I’m stressing you out. You are just so silent.”

Oh. Oh. They had the mind stone. How… unfortunate. He didn’t expect that complication. They could do much to him using it.

“No? All fine? Right. God, what the fuck did they think… Sorry. Yeah, where was I? The Vision. He… showed us... things. About what you did before coming to Earth. Or precisely what was done to you. Yeah. We… And, I mean I am sure the others would say the same, I wanted to say… Thanks? Not for killing people and not for throwing me from my tower while in jeans and a t-shirt. But yeah, sorry about the Hulk. You… um, suffered, and we were too slow and blind to see the whole picture.”

…

…

…

_What a beautiful illusion._

~o~0~o~


End file.
